James Haven, 53, Comes Out as Gay on Substack Livestream

Q: What unspoken childhood events forced James Haven to conceal his true self behind a 20-year friendship and a brief, doomed marriage?

There is no public evidence that specific “unspoken childhood events” directly forced James Haven into his later 20-year friendship with Romi Imbelli or their short-lived marriage. What is documented is that Haven himself linked his concealment to childhood trauma, pressure to fit in, and fear of judgment over being gay. In his livestream and follow-up statements, Haven described feeling different as a boy, saying he was drawn to Disney princesses and secretly wore glitter and mascara because those moments made him feel “magic.” He said he came to believe he had to hide that “sparkle” to be accepted by the “normal” boys around him. He now says that younger self was “simply gay,” not confused or broken. The available reporting suggests that this long pattern of suppression, rather than any specifically identified incident, shaped his adult relationships. He and Imbelli had been close friends for more than 20 years before marrying in 2024. Their marriage collapsed almost immediately: some reports say they separated 15 days after the wedding, and the annulment filing cited fraud. Imbelli has since said she suspected he was gay and struggled with “breaking the lie.” So the clearest answer is that Haven has publicly attributed his concealment to unresolved childhood trauma and early learned shame about his identity, but he has not disclosed precise childhood events that can be tied as proven causes of the friendship-turned-marriage.

Q: After hiding his truth for decades, what finally pushed Angelina Jolie's brother to come out at 53 alongside his recently annulled ex-wife?

What pushed James Haven to come out at 53 was a mix of long-term personal healing and the collapse of a marriage that forced him to stop hiding. In his own words, he said that after “many years of healing from childhood trauma,” he finally felt “free to live the life” he believed he was always meant to live. Haven described his announcement not as a sudden discovery, but as the end of decades of suppressing what he had long known. He spoke about childhood memories of being drawn to Disney princesses, glitter and mascara, and said he now understands that younger self as “simply gay,” not confused or broken. The real change, he said, was gaining the language, self-acceptance and emotional safety to say it publicly. His recently annulled ex-wife, Romi Imbelli, also appears to have played a key role. Reports say Haven came out to her after their annulment, and she gave him a supportive public platform during her Substack livestream. Imbelli said she was not trying to out him, but to “help set someone free,” suggesting that their changed relationship helped remove the pressure of maintaining what she called a story that was never fully theirs to hold. So the trigger was not one isolated event. It was the combination of healing from trauma, no longer wanting to live behind a false version of himself, and the freedom created by his post-marriage relationship with Imbelli, who stood beside him as he publicly told the truth.

3 articles · Updated · Yahoo! Voices · Aug 11

James Haven said "I'm gay" during an August 6 Substack livestream with ex-wife Romi Imbelli, making the public announcement months after their divorce was finalized.
The 53-year-old said he was entering a "new chapter" to free himself from childhood trauma and described coming out as letting others meet "the person who has been here all along."
Haven recalled hiding parts of himself as a child, saying he loved Disney princesses, glitter and mascara, and later learned to question those traits to fit in.
Imbelli, who married Haven in 2024 and confirmed their annulment in March, backed him on Instagram, saying she would always love him as family and a best friend.